Blog #48: My Cursed Birthdays--Part four

Oi that last blog was the hardest one I wrote so far so this blog I'm going to try and give you a lite version of one of my birthdays so I can give the ole ticker a rest on the heartache. I guess I'll tell you about the time we (some friends and I) went to the reservoir to swim for my birthday. It's more funny than anything but we encountered quite a bit of bad luck that day--and to this day it's a going joke that I was the rain cloud over that day. Honestly though, if I hadn't gone, the same shit would have gone down I just wouldn't have been apart of it so I SAY--its more I'm a victim of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

With that being said, the names and names of places will be slightly altered for the safety and privacy of others--and now we begin...

Most state reservoir's have a big ole sign posted that says no swimming--for good reason imho. There are a few places like this you can go to both in and just outside of RI. So, when my friends and I had nothing to do and needed something low budget because we were broke--we made low budget lunches and went out for a swim. There's a few things that led up to this.

Firstly, I had been recently robbed and didn't have enough money to finish my year out in school--so I had to drop out a few days prior to this. My supposed friend that robbed me took priceless irreplaceable things with tremendous sentimental value--I did not get them back. Worst part? I had no proof it was my friend, until she sold my stuff and the police caught her. Again, this was after my stuff was sold and they were sold to a person with a not up to date phone number so that was super cool to find out. Because I was robbed, most of my money--which had been sitting in my room by my bed in an envelope for rent, was gone. I was living with four other guys, at the time, but they had to replace me as a roommate--and quick, because none of them could fork over the extra money for rent. Which sucked. I took what I had left, packed it up, and moved to a friend's couch that weekend. With my cat.

Our tire blew out on the way to the reservoir, and my friend Jake had to replace it with a donut. On the way to the water, we had to walk briefly through the woods, and were swiped with many plants--including, we would find out later, poison ivy. After Indiana Jonesing our way through the shrubbery we made it to the water and I climbed up on a big rock. I sat there on a towel and started to smoke while everyone else peeled off their clothing and quickly jumped inside.

I scraped my knee pretty badly on the giant fucking rock while I was climbing up it--and was even bleeding a bit but only dabbed it with my towel and rinsed it with the bottle of water I had with me. We were there for about an hour when my friend Eddie started yelling and freaking out in the water. My other friend Jake swam to him and my friend Kayla was there shortly after them.

"Get in here and help us!" They were telling me and I just laughed and shook my head. "NO
PE." I said with no fucking intention of getting in the water, especially with them screaming like that.

Keep in mind, this was in the days were cell phones weren't really a thing.

But as I had a fear of drowning, because I had in the past almost drowned a few times, and I didn't swim well I didn't want to go in. Then with the way my friend was screaming I was DEFINITELY not going in, no fucking way.

So when they made it to shore I wandered over and gave them my towel to help with the bleeding on his leg which was swelling and we were all freaked out. Apparently he'd been bitten by something in the water, he claimed it was a water snake of some sort and was freaking out. Which, those of you who know anything about poisonous bites and snakes, you know that freaking out is not the way to go...anyhow....


We headed back through the woods, with that idiot prick sweating and mumbling while my friends were being his crutches and I unlocked the car. Then my friend Jake says, "I have a couple tabs of acid in the glovebox. If we drive out of here and get caught, we can't have those....but I was expecting to have a smoother ride into it."

My eyes, were the size of saucers but he gave us all two tabs and we ate them. He drove out of the grove we were parked in, and onto the maintenance road we took, to the highway. Eddie was wailing in the back holding his wound like a baby, and before you ask--yes he had some acid too. At first I thought, okay this is a dud batch and that's fine. But by the time we got to the hospital it had started to fucking kick in and I'm talking at epic proportions.

The paramedics came out to greet Jake who was trying, and failing, to explain what happened. I got out and shouted, "The idiot was bitten by a snake!" then got back into the car and eventually so did Jake. We left Eddie. Bye dude.

He was on his own....but I forgot one wicked epic stupid hilarious thing my friend Jake did before we even made it to the car at the reservoir. He attempted to "suck the venom" out of our friend Eddie's leg, and his lips grew to the size of fucking grapefruit and we were cracking the fuck up. The paramedics kept asking him if he got bitten and if he needed to be seen but Jake just kept saying over and over again, "no its cool man im cool."

Our trip out of the er onto the freeway was fucking scary and epic. It felt like the lights were blurring together and I was going warp speed into another dimension. And when we got on the highway the lights looked so much like flying saucers that I wasn't the only one who thought that is what they were. My idiot friend Kayla kept saying over and over, "Take me home et!" and then pointing up at them and laughing a weird laugh I had never even heard out of her. Meanwhile Jake was sweating and starting to freak out so I asked him if we should turn around and go back to he hospital.

"No I always react like this on acid."

What fool? Why do you do it then?

Meanwhile, I'm on the chillest fucking ride of my life. With unicorns with fire manes fucking pulling my epic hearse shaped car carriage through the neon rainbows to candy fucking mountain. I think the best part about my birthday, was how incredibly fucking high I was for the amount of stupid that happened.

We got pulled over and my friend Jake passed out, LOL, before the cop came to the window. We shook him awake, and then he got arrested for a DUI. We were told to walk home, they didn't even ask for our id. And then after all that, we were told he was sent to the hospital for treatment--and was charged IN THE HOSPITAL. I'm dead. Anyhow my friend Kayla and I walked home that night and it was something like 5 hours of an epic quest.

At some point I lost track of her and she came back with like a boa and some lipstick and she told me that she ran into an old gay friend and we both geeked about that. I was shocked she had found me, but I don't know why because honestly I was on the main roads and easy to find. What should have shocked me, was that she got OUT OF A CAR, when she found me, and we continued to walk home. smdh. Kids, don't do drugs. Unless you want to see some fucking incredibly insane colors on a journey to your soul. No seriously, don't do drugs.



Thanks for following along! have a truly perfect day.

xx happy trails xx

D. Grimm