Im sitting in the laundromat typing this weekend and oddly enough the low humming whirring of the machines is relaxing. More relaxing then my house currently is, and that is an understatement. Even as I'm being shook back and fourth on a table between two running washers surrounded entirely by the strangers that are my Flagstaff neighbors, I am for the moment relaxed. My wash is done, and my four loads for the month are currently being dried-let's see WHAT I can get accomplished in forty minutes before I have to stick my clothes in a bag and lug them home in a taxi.
Believe it or not I dont live very far from my laundromat, and contrary to popular belief-I do NOT prefer to do this, and yes I KNOW it's not exactly the most frugal way to get it done. But it works for us, and in the end isnt that what truly matters? The balance of oneself and their family? Anyhow, I like it here.
I get to get away from that house. That one weve been living in for six months. The horror house. Lol! Okay, Im being dramatic, but not overly so and I'll explain a bit just, oh my god that house. Anyway, I digress...
We have done our laundry this way since we moved to Flagstaff from Phoenix two years ago. For a long time we rented a room (yes a room) at a motel on a weekly basis because Flagstaff rentals are completely fucked. Between the college students and the rich as hell second home owners (yes i said second) the economy is fucked to high hell and if you don't believe me or need further proof, read this (Here).
The hotel didn't have laundry machines available to us, so we would haul everything in a taxi to the nearest place when the month was up. Its the same now, only we live closer to the place than before, not that it matters, we still gotta cab it.
Why not get a washer and dryer? I had them when we had a house. When life no longer allowed that convenience, I sold them and life moved on. So, so did we. Why not get one now that were in a house? Well, one our crummy as hell, piece of shit, no good, asshole landlord took ours out and never reinstalled it again. So we CAN'T have one. On top of that, when time comes for us to move to Colorado in six months, I DO NOT want to be hauling that shit through two states. I don't think anyone in their right mind would. Im in love with my material possessions, but trust me, the washer and dryer and I are cool. I'm good with waiting. Besides, once I settle some place worthwhile, won't it be awesome when I can get a really nice pair from Sears or some shit?
Hey, Danii jeez, lay off-the guy can't be all THAT bad, don't you preach positivity? I do, and shame on me. But everyone is human, and man this guy is my weakness. Now, weve reached the point of the blog where Im going to delve into the true horror, that is my home on thend of the alleyway but where to begin?
Well, for starters, the whole outside of my house has zero panneling. All of the boards are either off, and there is just bare looking plyboard in its place, OR, and bless the little hearts of whomever did this but, it is tagged by local graffiti artists--but not in any sort of great or artistic way. It is an eyesore. To say it needs a paint job, is the understatement of the century!
It needs a whole fricken makeover. There are bars on some of my windows, not all of them. Some of them have broken double panes that "cant be replaced" because the "company who made them went out of business thirty years ago." Yeah, it's time to upgrade and get with the times bro wtf. Speaking of windows, one of my windows is a fake
window. Window on the outside, wall on the inside, and I REALLY wish I was kidding. Not only that, but I think I can physically only open four of the 9/10 that are scattered throughout the house wtf.
On the topic of the lovely aesthetics of my house, there is an entire room outside that our shit landlord supposedly remodeled, with more ply boand what looks like black garbage bags. Yeah, we keep our trash in there. It reeks like the previous methed-out owners pack rabid dogs. No fucking thank you. I don't need that smell on my shit, I don't own a pack of dogs.
And finally, the weeds that adorn our beautiful surroundings in the front, the dog poop covered barren backyard, the jacked up broken ass half metal, half wooden fence HE told US to fix, and the random skewed dead pine stumps with giant spiders. Oh, and my "deck" is stained concrete, stained with what? I dont know, i didn't ask, and frankly I do not WANT to know. By the way Im pretty sure that our gutters are disconnected and that that is not how gutters work, but the giant ass untrimmed tree nearby also smacks the house when a good wind blows, so Im pretty sure this asshole doesn't care about any of that. Lord only knows what the fricken roof looks like, I haven't been up there. It's not my problem, it's his.
Now, let me paint you a picture of the inside of my house.
My "room" is actually supposed to to be my living room, but in this house we don't have a living room. The reason why, is when we moved in last March, for lack of better words we were desperate. Desperate for a home, for space and room to grow. Living in a hotel room for months, will do that to you by the way. That, being said, I wanna state that I asked the landlord before if there were any bugs. He swore up and down there were none, and I have a colossal and
Oh my fucking god, im in hell! After abandoning ship, and making sure nothing was put into that room-the police line was drawn, tape in place. The cracks were salted and the carpet burned. Oh okay not that ast one, but it turns out we share the home with a bunch of house mites. That room smells like pack of dogs from earlier, so he didnt replace the carpet or the padding and he's a lying piece of shit who can burn in fucking hell. Did we treat it? Of course! But those lil shits are resilient and I fucking refuse at this point. Repeatedly weve treated that room, but the shit needs to be replaced it's beyond lost to us.
My daughter's room is a glorified walk-in closet. It has one fucking outlet and its not grounded. The back light, chooses when it will work, and there is absolutely NO insulation. Thankfully, the rest of the house is relatively bug free save for a couple of sugar ants here and there or I would have completely abandoned ship, and just found another place somewhere else.
The miniscule one-person bathroom has a small sink, a one person stand-up shower, and the toilet is directly behind the door. Legit you are getting smashed in the knees or the face if you're the unfortunate soul who is sitting down when someone else enters. Occupied! Occupied!
The kitchen is next to our bedroom and is medium sized. It gives us a lovely view of the alleyway where homeless men like to sleep, eat, do drugs, break things, etc. I have a fucking stove from 1970s that is gas, but only the top burners work. The oven on this little sucker isn't allowed to be lit. It was red flagged by the city gas company, that idiot "fixed" it, it was red flagged again, and he just said fuck it. So I use a convection oven and a microwave. The fridge when we got here was absolutely appalling! There 👏 were 👏 dog 👏 hairs 👏 in 👏the 👏fucking 👏 gaskets👏. It was GROSS. But I cleaned it, and it broke a month later. So the fridge here is mine, and I am definitely hauling THAT away, if nothing else then out of pure spite.
Now that I've given you a verbal tour, let me list a few other things wrong with the place that I just cant get over...
The porch light and doorbell have legit NEVER once worked, and we live in a bad area. The fence is broken in several spots. The mailbox (because we are a B unit) is out front where our address has us listed but there is a second house in the back that noone sees because of said fence. I have to literally go around the block to check my mail. There is heat but it doesn't disperse around the house right, and there are definitely cold spots. There's no air conditioning. The entire house has been slowly sinking into the Arizona ground over this six months. It feels like the tub is slanted, but its not my problem.
None of it is MY problem, because in six months I'll be free of the worst anxiety inducing investment I have ever made, and we are on to bigger and better things.
Peace out Flagstaff, it's been a nice learning experience. Though, it's not the place that is horrible itself. No. Its surroundings are breathtaking! But life is hard to live because of the people sometimes. And fuck that guy, this place is his problem the minute Im packed up and out the door. Freedom will never have felt so good!
still have more planned too, if you blink youll miss it, so stay tuned!
Alright fam,
Love YOU! Stay tight! Stay Real! Be YOU!
Welcome to the ghoul fam xo *~Danii_Grimm~*
I can't wait for you to move on. You deserve it!
ReplyDeleteOh i know! Crossing my fingers for some good karma!
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