THE ANTS HAVE INVADED!!!!!!
Send help. My house is being invaded by sugar ants!!!!!
Let me back up to the beginning of the week first, so I can explain. My daughter is adjusting to the healthy food diet we are implementing and well--she's seven. Not everything tastes sugary or is filled with enough salt to satisfy her growing/changing taste buds and that is fine. However, she didn't want to disappoint me and in her not wanting to disappoint me, she spat out one of our dinners and promptly hid it----IN HER TOYS. That was Monday night. I had no idea, we thought she ate her food and everything was good. BUT well, she must've gone to bed hungry that night because she didn't eat ANY of it.
We live in a rather interesting spot. Let me paint a mental picture for you. Our small (rather dilapidated looking) home is sitting on the corner of a lot. It is adjacent to a city owned Alleyway, and several of my neighbors but we are all fenced off so basically, it is alleyway and then the street. Our land lord is the laziest man on the planet who doesn't do anything for his tenants so we don't really deal much with him and our lot (ALMOST ALL OF OUR LOT) is dirt. Behind us in the alleyway? More dirt. Pretty safe to say, that when we moved in the sugar ants were here first but ya know what? NO. You need to fuck off and get outta my house you lil shitstain pests.
Fast forward to about Wednesday night when my daughter comes out of her room to ask me if she can sleep with me. Her bed is 'full of' ants. These are not the ants that fucking bite by the way, but the tickling of them trailblazing across your skin is enough to send shivers down my spine so I said okay and sent her father in there to spray. He sprayed her room but did not clean it (such a guy move) so he didn't find the mass mecca that the ants were crawling toward. But of course we all know, there is always a reason for these things. For a while after he sprayed though, things were fine.
Friday night I witnessed something so obscene it was like a fucking horror movie scene and I literally screamed. I cried and flailed like your typical horror movie scream queen, and then I ran the fuck out of that room so fast. After a lot of mental preparation I went back inside and this time I was armed to the fucking tooth with gloves, cleaning supplies, PANTS, and a vacuum. I was going to get rid of this clustered colony of assholes if it was the last thing I did. So with my mortuary goggles on (Im not kidding) I got to work. I half cried and screamed every time one was on me, but I literally spent four hours and overhauled my daughters room. THEY WERE GONE.
Then I started finding them all over the house.
So I OVERHAULED THE HOUSE. I moved every piece of furniture. Trashed every wrapper, candy, crumb, etc and I fucking went CRAZY manic all over these little bitches. BY 4AM my house was no longer ANTTOPIA. IT was my CAVE again. My glorious SAFE, BUG-FREE, cave. And I was finally able to crash and sleep.
On top of all that, I had been bitten by a (MYSTERY) spider earlier in the week. We only know it was a spider because of the reaction my body had to it and the way it looked there was no physical evidence. Though, I do fucking see spiders in here all the time. Now the the house is fully treated though, we should be good. NO more spiders, and most of all NO more fucking ants. I have been dealing with a 3cm x 3cm bite reaction that spread out into a huge fucking bruise on my back. It feels a lot like when you strain a muscle at the gym--and god it sucks. BUT I am a fuckin WARRIOR because I battled the bugs at ant mountain and I CAME OUT VICTORIOUS QUEEEEEEEN. 
Bugs need to seriously learn personal space and step the fuck off.
So anyway, thanks for listening to my rantings--as you can tell I'm REALLY scared of bugs it doesn't matter what they are. And as we all know fears aren't always the most rational things. Still, I'm one of those type of assholes to legit see a bug and for five minutes later I feel that bug is on my skin it doesn't matter what it was or if it actually touched me. I have dreams where I am consumed by bugs just swarming me....and THAT my friends is exactly why I request CREMATION upon death. #TheMoreYouKnow I will embrace my firey inferno resting place with open arms (so to speak) because damn even the thought of bugs swarming me after death is super unpleasant.
If you enjoyed this post and the lovely voice of narration I do them every Sunday! Oh! and lemme toss some other links your way:
Welcome to the ghoul fam xo *~Danii_Grimm~*
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